he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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