its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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