sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
