he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
