Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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