I think im going to throw up on grandma
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
