"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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