I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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