i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
