I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
