It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
