I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
