everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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