All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
