Four minutes until I can fart!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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