somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
