ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
