Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
