Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Life is so much better after having sex.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
