Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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