Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
