quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
