STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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