She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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