Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
