she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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