Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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