I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
