i'm signing you up for texting rehab
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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