Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
