he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
