You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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