It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
