I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
