I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
