my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
