Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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