so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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