who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
