I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Tell her she can't have a vagina
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Found the puke drawer
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
