D3 body, D1 cock
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Randomize
