there's paper in my vomit.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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