just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
