I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
