**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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