We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
