i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
