Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
