I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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