I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
