She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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