Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
wow bdsm is so cute
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